feeling blue and offended

this morning i had every intention of trekking up to Curves to workout and take the baby with me to the gym's new childcare area.
but i have been on a downward spiral ever since i read Eric Celeste's story about TDMN.
it's just so damned depressing. is the true spirit of journalism extinct because newspapers got too greedy? i'm not ready to believe that. even after being kicked in the pants by the paper i still cling to this "romantic notion" he talks about--uncovering scandals, breaking stories, making society a little more just.

the day after the 04 goals meeting and its talk of revolution, career development and all that jazz, i emailed the publisher and told him i was moved and inspired by his passionate outlook. i told him i was prepared to back him 110 percent if indeed he was honest with us about wanting to get serious and kick some ass. i explained, being in my mid-20s, how i was so excited to have my supervisors/managers and newsroom veterans help me develop a plan to start doing some serious journalism.
it was a lenghty email, but i was not at all unclear on where i stood--which was behind him, carrying two buckets, if he really meant what he said.
he didn't reply, but i assume he read it. if not entirely, at least got the gist.

so to that bitch in Celeste's story who called me (yes, i took it extremely personally) "deadweight," i suggest you open your pathetic and naive narrow mind and you're blind eyes, and see that the only people left fit in one of two categories: the unquestionable bad ass journalists and the ass-kissing yes men. i seriously doubt she is one of the former with such an arrogant attitude. wake up. one day, you'll be regarded in the same way you regard me.

maybe i'm alone in thinking this, but i never considered Lamberto Alvarez, Ira Hadnot, Larry Powell, Tim O'Leary, Doug Bedell or Linda Crosson, who coordinated the Egyptian twins special section, "deadweight." funny, because i can think of several people who stayed but have no business being there.

fortunately, most of my News family doesn't share this loser's opinion. she obviously was not one of the many generous donors of more than $50,000 who cared about their co-workers and perceived some level of injustice on Oct. 27.

it was my goal in beginning this blog to stay positive and focused and not use this as a forum for bitterness, because i'm really not all that bitter. but what can i say? the observer got the best of me today. i promise i'll try to control myself in the future.